RYAN’S AND KELLY’S VISIT (photos to come)

The Graduate

My stepson Ryan graduated from SUNY Oswego on May 24. He has a business degree and starts his first “real” (full-time, permanent) job in August. What a shock – not that he graduated, but that he grew up. When I think of Ryan, I still see eight-year old Ryan in fake Oakley shades and Tevas, strutting down the boardwalk at Rehoboth Beach, or three year-old Ryan walking out to the end of the diving board at the old YMCA, telling everyone, “back up” then doing a perfect somersault. We’d watched Greg Louganis in the Olympics the night before.

Now he’s a young man, but he still has the same shy smile and the same wry and a bit sarcastic sense of humor that he had as an eight-year old. He just has them attached to a grown-up body (as Emmaline told her mother, “He’s buff”) and a deep voice. His poise floors me. I wonder where he got that?

I’m so excited for him. He’s at such a wonderful and exciting time in his life. I would never go back to high school. What a horrible time. And as much fun as college is, it’s a stop on the road, a place to grow and learn and prepare for what’s next. Ryan is now at the ‘what’s next.’ THIS really is the best time of his life. This is where he will really blossom as he continues on the journey of becoming who he will be. But now he’ll be fully in charge of that process for himself and as an adult, he will be more aware of that process than ever before.

Visiting Germany

Matt and I were lucky and had a two-week visit with Ryan and his girlfriend Kelly to celebrate their graduation. I haven’t seen Ryan since our visit to New York in December 2004, before moving to Germany. We e-mail and I’ll occasionally call him, but with the time difference and calling to a cell phone, that isn’t very frequent. The last time I saw him, he was still working out what he wanted to do with his life. He was narrowing in on his major and getting ready to move to Oswego. What a change those two plus years made. He's a confident, capable adult, still unjaded by too much of the work-a-day grind.  His zest for life and learning and new experiences is beautiful to see.  

Arrival

I picked Ryan and Kelly up at the airport on Wednesday morning. Matt and I were expecting the jet lag to kick in, so didn’t plan anything for that day. I was going to put them to bed and do errands, but the adrenaline kept them going so they opted to join me on a trip to the on-base travel agent to see about their Eurail Passes. After that, the adrenaline wore off and the jet lag kicked in. It was a low-key night and next morning (they slept until noon).

When I haven’t seen Ryan for a while, I always wonder “will it be awkward?” and “has he outgrown his ex-stepmom?” I worry that my role in his life will someday end. Then I see him and he’s my baby boy all over again: all grown up, but still my baby boy. The years and miles that separate us disappear and are made irrelevant by everything else we’ve been through together and the fact that he is my Ryan.

This was my first time meeting Kelly. I was a bit nervous about that, too. Would I like her? Would she like me? Does it matter if either of us does or not? Within minutes of meeting her, all my anxiety disappeared. She’s great – very outgoing, adventurous, and pleasant. She’s also very pretty. She has long, wavy dark hair, beautiful big brown eyes framed by long, dark eyelashes, and perfect, white teeth in a gorgeous smile.

In very short order I discovered that Kelly and I share some traits – probably not my best, but I found it funny! Within minutes of arriving at our house, she’d spread out, was leaving things around and generally made herself at home! I found that quite endearing, knowing I have that tendency myself. She also carried a stain-stick with her and had frequent cause to use it. Hmmmm . . . . sounds like someone else I know! (OK, I’m not prepared enough to carry a stain-stick, although I know I’d have to use it all the time!). She could also be just a little clutzy, like me. Nothing big, just small things that I do all the time – little spills, drops, misses that come from wanting to get everything in NOW! I really liked her. And I really liked her relationship with Ryan. Very different from the last girlfriend of his that I met – much more mature and relaxed. They both seem interested in having their own lives and selves figured out before being too tightly knit as a couple. Maybe Ryan learned something from my bad example(s)?

Once they’d rallied a bit, we took the train to downtown Stuttgart, strolled along Koenig Strasse, grabbed a snack at a bakery then loaded up on treats for dinner at the Markthalle. We wandered back through the plazas (Rathaus Platz, Schiller Platz and Schloss Platz) and the gardens to the train station, taking pictures in all the fountains and ponds along the way. The weather was perfect for fountain dipping – sunny and hot! That night, the jet lag kicked in again and we made it another early night.

The Long Weekend of Castles and Caves

Hohenzollern

Matt took off work on Friday to make it an extra long weekend (Monday was Memorial Day and he took Tuesday off, too). On Friday, we headed south on Route 27 to Hohenzollern. That was the first castle Matt and I went to after we arrived here, and we hadn’t been back since. It’s dramatic setting and its rich history, right up to today, makes it a great “introductory castle.” First, there’s the steep ascent up the path along the hillside, then the winding, concentric paths through each of the three gates leading to the main courtyard, then the castle itself. The whole ordeal of getting to the inner portions of the castle builds the excitement. We did the tour (in German, so we mostly looked around and made up our own stories for each room), stopped in the courtyard biergarten and headed back down the hill. We stopped in the field along the road at the base of the hill for our first picnic. It was a marvelous “welcome to Germany” day!

Black Forest

On Saturday we headed west into the Black Forest. We went to the outdoor museum in Gutach where they have examples of all the different farmhouse styles in the Black Forest from different times. It was my first time there – Matt came with his parents when I was sick or at swim practice of something. The old thatched-roof buildings with small windows and barns adjacent or above the living area were fascinating. After a “fast-food” lunch at the biergarten there, we went into Triberg, saw the world’s largest cuckoo clock (although just missed its cuckoo), and hiked up the highest waterfall in Germany. The weather was really being cooperative and we had another day of sunshine and warm weather.

Neuschwannstein Castle

On Sunday we drove southeast to Fussen and Castle Neuschwannstein – crazy King Ludwig’s Fairytale Castle (and the reputed inspiration for Disney’s Cinderella’s castle). We started with a picnic by the lake. This time, we had much better weather for it and were able to sit out on the grass, feed the swans, and people watch for a bit. Then we took the kamakazi bus to Mariebrucken and took a few pictures of the castle from there (not many – neither Ryan nor Kelly were too keen on standing out over the gorge on the tourist-jammed bridge!) We toured the castle, oohed and aahed at its splendor then headed back home. The rain that started to threaten after our picnic held off until we were on the road, so again, we were luck with the weather.

Hohenwerfen

We headed west to Austria for an overnight trip on Monday-Tuesday. First, we went to Hohenwerfen. This was our second visit and now I’m sure it’s my favorite castle. There was a “medieval festival” in the courtyard with games for kids and a show. Ryan and Kelly both tried there hands at archery – and Kelly got a bulls eye on her first shot! We watched the show (choreographed fighting), took the castle tour and raced for the bird show. The falconry demonstration was spectacular although Matt was disappointed they didn’t bring the owl out (the wind picked up a lot during the show and it began to downpour within a few minutes of it ending). After a visit to the biergarten (of course!) we took the funicular back down to the parking lot and headed to Bischofshofen to find our hotel.

The Schutzenhaus and Hotel Post in Bischofshofen are owned by the same family. The buildings are on two sides of a small square and are wonderfully “typical” Austrian Gasthauses. The rooms were HUGE and the both hotels were immaculate. (We were in the Hotel Post). After a walk around town, we went to the Schutzenhaus restaurant for dinner. There weren’t many other choices since it was also a German/Austrian holiday AND a Monday, when lots of stuff closes anyway. Dinner was great – very traditional German/Austrian with HUGE portions. After dinner, Ryan, Kelly and I got biers to go and continued talking in the lobby outside our rooms (until another guest asked us to keep it down!)

In the middle of the night, Matt and I were wakened by what sounded like keys at the door or dropping. We ignored it and it stopped: for a few minutes. When it started up again we realized it was a tapping at the window. Ryan and Kelly went out after we went to bed and the front door was locked! They’d found a Pakistani-owned pizza place with a pool table and darts and hung out there until they closed!

Eisriesenwelt (Ice Giants’ World)

Tuesday morning was gray, drizzly and cold. It didn’t matter since we were going into te world’s larges ice caves where the temperature always hovers at around 0 celsius. After a long, twisty, windy ride up a steep hill on the Tenenbirge (the Alpine Mountain the caves are in) we arrived at the parking lot. The sign said we had a 20 minute walk, 3 minute gondola ride (on the steepest gondola in Austria), followed by another 20 minute walk to the cave entrance. It had better be worth it!

It is! I can’t believe we haven’t heard more people rave about this place! Maybe the walking puts them off. We walked at a very leisurely pace and it was really only about 15 minutes for each part. When we got off the cable car we’d entered a winter wonderland: snow everywhere! It made for a fun walk up the hill, although visibility was nil for most of it. The caves themselves are beyond description. Wooden stairs and walkways let you get over and up the steeply rising tubes and paths that twist through the mountain. The only thing it compares to is the animated caves in “Ice Age.” That’s almost EXACTLY what we walked through! We only covered a small portion of the 40 km caves, but walked up 790 steps and then back down as many along a parallel route to get back to the mouth of the cave. It was truly amazing. We couldn’t take pictures inside the cave, so bought postcards and books with photos from inside. As marvelous as they are, the real thing is truly awesome – not in the teeny-bopper, I can’t think of another word sense of awesome, but in the “no words can describe this” meaning of ‘awesome.’

Off On Their Own

Wednesday was a recover and prepare day. Ryan and Kelly were heading off by train to explore more of Europe, specifically Berlin, Amsterdam and Paris. On Thursday morning, I took the train with them to the Stuttgart Hauptbahnhof and waved as they left the station on the direct ICE train that would take them to Berlin. That trip is their story to tell, but it sounds like they had a great time. They came back together and still talking to each other, so I guess things must have gone well!

Wilhemina Zoo

Ryan and Kelly returned from their five-day adventure on Tuesday morning. They took the train right back in to Wendlingen, then fell asleep for most of the morning. That evening we had house guests – Kevin and Emmaline were spending a few days with us while Karla was in the hospital.

The next morning I really showed our company a good time – I took them to the hospital where Kevin and Emmaline spent some time before school visiting their mother. After dropping them off, we stopped at the Ritter Sport Factory Outlet to buy chocolate for presents (I did most of the buying to stock up for my upcoming trip). Then we had lunch at the pub in Wendlingen’s Marktplatz. (It was delicious – Matt and I have to do that sometime!) Then we finally made our way up route 10 to the zoo. We waited about ten minutes so we could get the reduced evening rate that started at 4 p.m. and then we spent far too much time looking at EVERYTHING! It was a great time to go. The cats were awake, the elephants were inside eating, and the gorilla babies were all wound up! They LOVED Kelly – one kept pounding the glass in front of her. A leopard hissed at us, the boas started climbing around their tree while we were there, the polar bear woke and stood up, and pretty much everything was active (except the brown bear – he was nowhere to be seen). It was a great, although rushed, visit. We had to get back to Patch to meet Matt, Kevin and Emmaline at Kevin’s baseball game (Matt could only take one home in the smart car). We couldn’t have had any better timing – they were just coming off the field when we arrived, and a few minutes later the thunder started.

Although Ryan and Kelly wanted to cook that night, we opted for a meal at the Patriot since we were all tired (and Matt wanted to avoid eating the Spargel we bought that afternoon). So, we had our quesadillas and called it a night.

A Sad Farewell

They left on Thursday morning. Their two weeks here went by far too quickly and it was hard to say good-bye at the airport. I got through it by reminding myself that I'll see them when I visit the US in a few weeks. I’d have loved to have seen more of them, but wanted even more for them to take advantage of their trip to Europe. Who knows when they’ll be back or in a position to travel so freely again. I’m so happy that they did go out and explore on their own and got to experience and interpret so much of their trip without us. As helpful as it is to have a tour guide, it’s more important to draw your own views of a place. They did. And Matt and I hope their view is one that will make them want to come back again!